Who's bored at work? I am!

I am here to offer free advice. You can ask me anything. I will give you my best honest answer and if I dont know what the hell you are talking about I will make something up! I will answer questions on any subject.

For you new comers dont be scared to post, come be part of the fun.

Fire Away!

Rep to the best questions!

__________________
Derek Reese - Future Hall of Famer
Studs N Duds - Sunday's

12 Team NHL Salary Cap Dynasty
H2H, Salary Cap 82mil, Player actual salaries
G,A,PTS,GWG,PIM,SOG,STP,HT,BL,+/-,W,GAA,SV,SO
Starters: 12 Forwards, 6 Defense, 2 Goalies

F - Stamkos, Perry, E.Staal, Voracek, J.Staal, Simmonds, Ott, Downie, J.Jokinen, Eller, Nielson, Prust
D - Martin, Faulk, Brodie, Ellerby, M.Weber, Stone
G - Bobrovsky, Halak
Bench - Brunner, Brodie, Strachan, Khudobin, Lindback, Neuvirth, Ramo

Prospects - Calvert, Forsberg, Etem, Namestinikov, Kreider, Cundari

Dear Derek, what will it take for someone in my league to trade with me?

__________________
12 Team NHL Salary Cap Dynasty -daily starts
H2H, Salary Cap 82mil, Player actual salaries (all)
+/-,G,A,GWG,PTS,STP,PIM,SOG,HT,BS,GAA,SO,SV,W
Starters: 12 Forwards, 6 Defense, 2 Goalies

Forwards: Fleischmann, Duchene, Ennis, Kessel, M.Koivu, Neal, Conacher, D.Sedin, H.Sedin, Bailey, J.Thornton, Bozak
Defense: Carlson, Gardiner, Kulikov, Franson, Dillon, MacDonald
Goalie: Rask, Crawford
Reserves: B.Schenn, Cowen, Fraser, Gryba, Brodeur, Emery, Pavelec
Prospects: Gallagher, Chiasson, Killorn, A.Larsson, Murphy, Rielly
Fantrax TAHL 2013 Champion

Conversation with my 3-year old daughter the other day:

Her: "Daddy, can I say Fa?"
Me: "Yes... that's OK".
Her: "Daddy, can I say Fluff?"
Me: "Yes... that's OK".
Her: "Daddy, how come I can't say the word mommy said in the car?"
Me: ..............

What would have been the right response?

I have a couple of ideas that you can try:
1. You can change your profile pic to Sexy Hailen Q.
2. You can try taking your league out for lunch and buy them pizza and beer.
3. Include your 1st rd draft pick in every deal, that always works.
4. Cry.
5. Make bad trade offers where you get screwed, after you are in it for the entertainment not the money.
6. Eat some bacon
7. Offer the same deal over and over until they hit the accept button instead of the reject button.
8. Get a lap dance.

__________________
Derek Reese - Future Hall of Famer
Studs N Duds - Sunday's

12 Team NHL Salary Cap Dynasty
H2H, Salary Cap 82mil, Player actual salaries
G,A,PTS,GWG,PIM,SOG,STP,HT,BL,+/-,W,GAA,SV,SO
Starters: 12 Forwards, 6 Defense, 2 Goalies

F - Stamkos, Perry, E.Staal, Voracek, J.Staal, Simmonds, Ott, Downie, J.Jokinen, Eller, Nielson, Prust
D - Martin, Faulk, Brodie, Ellerby, M.Weber, Stone
G - Bobrovsky, Halak
Bench - Brunner, Brodie, Strachan, Khudobin, Lindback, Neuvirth, Ramo

Prospects - Calvert, Forsberg, Etem, Namestinikov, Kreider, Cundari

It depends which of the many words that your daughters mom said. Which ones are you refereing to?

__________________
Derek Reese - Future Hall of Famer
Studs N Duds - Sunday's

12 Team NHL Salary Cap Dynasty
H2H, Salary Cap 82mil, Player actual salaries
G,A,PTS,GWG,PIM,SOG,STP,HT,BL,+/-,W,GAA,SV,SO
Starters: 12 Forwards, 6 Defense, 2 Goalies

F - Stamkos, Perry, E.Staal, Voracek, J.Staal, Simmonds, Ott, Downie, J.Jokinen, Eller, Nielson, Prust
D - Martin, Faulk, Brodie, Ellerby, M.Weber, Stone
G - Bobrovsky, Halak
Bench - Brunner, Brodie, Strachan, Khudobin, Lindback, Neuvirth, Ramo

Prospects - Calvert, Forsberg, Etem, Namestinikov, Kreider, Cundari

1) I will try that next, she is smokin hot!
2) Done that twice with no results
3) I do that every deal, nobody wants my pick
4) I do that every night regardless
5) I do that in every offer, still no results
6) I do that 4 times a week already
7) Haven't tried that, but commish can override that type of error
8) Will try that to make myself feel better after each trade declined

__________________
12 Team NHL Salary Cap Dynasty -daily starts
H2H, Salary Cap 82mil, Player actual salaries (all)
+/-,G,A,GWG,PTS,STP,PIM,SOG,HT,BS,GAA,SO,SV,W
Starters: 12 Forwards, 6 Defense, 2 Goalies

Forwards: Fleischmann, Duchene, Ennis, Kessel, M.Koivu, Neal, Conacher, D.Sedin, H.Sedin, Bailey, J.Thornton, Bozak
Defense: Carlson, Gardiner, Kulikov, Franson, Dillon, MacDonald
Goalie: Rask, Crawford
Reserves: B.Schenn, Cowen, Fraser, Gryba, Brodeur, Emery, Pavelec
Prospects: Gallagher, Chiasson, Killorn, A.Larsson, Murphy, Rielly
Fantrax TAHL 2013 Champion

I met this hot chick who had a kid with her so naturally I lied and said I loved kids to try and impress her. So we hit it off but it turns out she was just babysitting when we met and has since stolen the child to make me happy. This has me a little confused/worried so I figured I'd come to the great Derek Reese for advice.

I guess my questions are as follows:
1) What is your name?
2) What is your quest?
3) What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

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Okay, so maybe nobody likes a cynic, but everybody f**king hates those perky optimists!

... and anyway, I make a damn good cynic.

I just rejoined facebook after a 5.5 year hiatus. What is the official Derek Reese endorsed etiquette, guidelines, rules, regulations, laws and instruction manual for utilizing the social site to it's maximum capacity?

Cheers,
Ross

__________________

" You said you don't give a f*ck about hockey. I've never heard anyone say that before."

"Thanks for stopping by"

or

"Stay classy"

?

__________________
UHL Calgary Flames
24-team H2H (roto G, A, GWG, SHP, PPP, PIM, +/, SOG, Hits, Blks, FOW, W, SV, SV%, GAA, SO)

Capped article archive

Montreal Canadiens coverage

Twitter:@DH_EricDaoust.

1. It is ‘Derek Reese’, King of the Britons
2. To seek the Holy Grail
3. What do you mean? An African or European swallow?

__________________
Derek Reese - Future Hall of Famer
Studs N Duds - Sunday's

12 Team NHL Salary Cap Dynasty
H2H, Salary Cap 82mil, Player actual salaries
G,A,PTS,GWG,PIM,SOG,STP,HT,BL,+/-,W,GAA,SV,SO
Starters: 12 Forwards, 6 Defense, 2 Goalies

F - Stamkos, Perry, E.Staal, Voracek, J.Staal, Simmonds, Ott, Downie, J.Jokinen, Eller, Nielson, Prust
D - Martin, Faulk, Brodie, Ellerby, M.Weber, Stone
G - Bobrovsky, Halak
Bench - Brunner, Brodie, Strachan, Khudobin, Lindback, Neuvirth, Ramo

Prospects - Calvert, Forsberg, Etem, Namestinikov, Kreider, Cundari