Hey gang,

So they have this thing over at Grantland called the Bad Quarterback League. I've been thinking that it would be tremendous amounts of fun to run something similar here (if/when we get NHL hockey) to celebrate all the terrible goaltending out there.

Since we don't have hockey right now I figure it would be a good time to come up with a set of rules for this league and I'm taking it to you, here in the DobberHockey forum, to help me put together the rules.

Here's what I have so far:

You can have any number of managers in your league but let's say for instance you go with a 10-team league. You would conduct a snake draft with each manager drafting three goaltending tandems. Each week the managers must select which goaltending tandem they are choosing to start to attempt to accrue points.

Here's how you get points:

In-Game Scoring

Save Percentage: for every 0.001 percent below 0.910 percent = 1 point

Allow a Goal from Center Ice (also known as a Cloutier) = 50 points

Tandem allows 5 goals in one game = 10 points

Tandem allows 6 goals in one game = 20 points

Tandem allows 7 goals in one game = 30 points

Tandem allows 8 goals in one game = 40 points

Tandem allows 9 goals in one game = 50 points

Tandem allows 10 or more goals in one game = 100 points

Starter is replaced by backup in the first period or during first intermission = 30 points

Starter is replaced by backup during the second period or during the second intermission = 20 points

Starter is replaced by backup during the third period = 10 points

Goaltender is pulled for extra attacker (not during a delayed penalty) = 5 points

Starter is replaced by backup during third intermission (for overtime) = 20 points

Starter is replaced by backup for shootout = 50 points

Backup plays so poorly that the starter is put back into the game = 50 points

For every Penalty In Minute (PIM) = 5 points

Goalie Fight = 50 points

Allow all shooters to score in shootout = 20 points

Allow overtime goal = 10 points

24/7 Points

We don’t want to reward injuries HOWEVER if your team has to engage in a last minute local goalie search = 25 Points

If said local goalie dresses for the game = 25 points

If said local goalie plays in the game = 300 points

Arrested = 50 Points

Team trades a goaltender (must be on NHL roster) = 50 points

Team trades for a goaltender (must play NHL games following trade) = 50 points

If your goaltenders are so bad there are rumours your team has contacted Dominic Hasek = 200 Points

Get into a war of words with Don Cherry = 25 points

Refusal to play in game(s) (also known as a Thomas) = 100 points

Get suspended = 10 points per game

Vote of confidence from coach/GM = 10 points

Vote of non-confidence from coach/GM = 40 points

Goaltender says, “I suck,” = 20 points

Goaltender throws team(mates) under the bus = 10 points

Negative Points

Win = -10 points

For every 0.001 percent above 0.910 save percentage = -1 point

Post a shutout = -30 points

Stop every shot in the shootout = -10 points

Overtime win = -5 points

Goalie Assist (Also known as a Brodeur) = -5 points

FAQ

Injuries – Goaltenders who are benched because of equipment issues or injuries will not receive benching points. You only get points for actually sucking. The exception to this rule would have been Pascal Leclaire but he retired.

82-games – There are no goaltenders out there that start all 82 games in a season (or 41 for what would likely be this shortened season). As a result we will not go out of our way to reward teams that use their backups more than others. Instead, the starter will be referred to as whichever goalie starts a particular game. Points for usual starters that get benched will likely come via votes of confidence/non-confidence by the coach/GM.

Save Percentage Points – This will be the total recorded by all goaltenders on the team for the entire scoring week not just for each individual game played.

Trades – If a team trades for a goaltender and receives a goaltender in return you do not get double points. Only 50 points are awarded per transaction, however if a team trades one goaltender and then trades for a goaltender in two separate transactions then 100 points will be awarded.

The Tim Thomas Rule – Any goaltender that is suspended or has declared his intention to sit out the season prior to your draft will not be awarded points.

Vote of confidence – A vote of confidence will be subject to a judgement call by the writers here at DobberHockey but in general a coach/GM saying, “(Blank) is our guy/starter,” is what we are looking for in a vote of confidence. You can only receive one of these per week, regardless of how many times the coach/GM says it.

Non-vote of confidence – Again, this will be subject to a judgement call by the DobberHockey writers but in general a non-vote of confidence would be something like a coach/GM saying, “We will ride the hot hand.”

Goaltender says, “I suck” – This is also known as the Bryzgalov rule and will be subject to a judgement call by the DobberHockey writers but in general, if a goaltender alludes to lacking confidence then points will be awarded.

24/7 Points – Are awarded to your team regardless of whether you start that particular tandem.

Please keep in mind that I won't be running your league. It's up to you to find participants and run your own draft. What I will be doing is breaking down the most terrible goaltenders each week and updating the point totals for each tandem so that you and your friends can bask in the glory of putrid goaltending!

Does this sound like something you’d want to participate in? Let me know with your comments below and please give as much feedback about potential rules/scoring changes you would like to see implemented!

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