- I doped.
Wow, congratulations on taking the big step forward to admitting that it was wrong.
- [Internally thinking "Wrong?"] Thank you, I can't wait to get back in competition.
And we can't wait to have you. Now, are you still using PEDs?
- Umm no.
That's great to hear. If you wouldn't mind, please take these tests to prove you're clean.
- No sweat, I've passed these tests a million times.
I think you are missing the point.
- Umm, you mean I was supposed to stop?!
Yes. That is one of our focuses, to clean up the sport.
- But. But. But. But how am I supposed to win?! Oh well, at least I automatically qualify so I can still cycle to save face.
" You said you don't give a f*ck about hockey. I've never heard anyone say that before."