Workforce by day, fantasy sports by night. What if that threshold was crossed and both worlds became one? In the newest Trade Fever entry, when fantasy meets reality, we can see that every member of this community serves their purpose.
Where will you and follow GMs fit in?
Architect – The visionary, the man with the plan. Before the inaugural draft even starts, this poolie has a clear-cut blueprint laid out. There is no fooling this guy, especially with his “my way or the highway” attitude. Unfortunately, this results in minimal trade discussions, but hang in there! That foundation is sure to crack sooner or later.
Butcher – Unlike architects, butchers can be seen slicing and dicing their teams. Just when you think they have grown on a player or prospect, heck maybe even the team’s franchise player, butchers find a way to send them packing. No ties to any of their players. Emotionless and ruthless. Makes for an ideal trading partner!
Chef – A little bit of this, a dash of that, and voila! The chef loves to experiment with complimentary food groups - bringing you a full course meal week after week. This one is always striving to cook up that perfect rotisserie recipe. Interested to see what’s on the menu? Visit Metaldude’s Diner!
Door-to-Door Salesman – These persistent poolies constantly knock at your door with new proposals. Slam the door in their face and they will make sure to be back again and again and again. Some are persuasive and others are down right aggressive. Leave for a day and your mailbox will be full of nonsense. Best way to rid of them? Counter with ridiculous offers – they will eventually get the point!
Economist – Looking to save every penny, and for good reason! These guys are on top of every dollar spent in their salary cap leagues, making them very picky traders. These money-crunching, bang-for-buck managers are often successful in achieving their goals. They rarely make hasty decisions and only strike when the return fits the bill.
Fisherman – The one with the extravagant story about their biggest catch. Yet, when a bet is thrown on the table, the room goes silent and the truth finally comes out. Questionable drafting and poor maintenance caps off the final chapter for this dime-a-dozen poolie’s fairytale ending.
Gambler – The GM who isn’t afraid to go all in. Strives to complete blockbusters and lacks patience. You can tell they are itching to press that big ol’ green “GO” button. Probably figures that this year is the best shot at collecting 200 dollars winning a title. Come season’s end, will they so graciously be dining with the riches or be seen taking early golfing lessons?
Historian – The historian may have won a championship or two back in the day. However, they have long since tasted sweet sweet victory. Unfortunately, this sad soul is stuck in the past – constantly bringing up old facts as if they were yesterday. Well bucko, times have changed and so has the game. Do something about it or get left to rust!
Investigator – The sneaky GMs who search every nook and cranny of the rule book looking for missing pieces. If there are any loopholes in the system, these poolies will surely exploit them. Digging deeper, often enough they’ll get away with their questionable “cards” due to having no precedent set. Best to keep your eyes open, and leave nothing behind.
Jack-of-all-trades – From joker to jewel thief, this poolie of many faces has a full toolbox of tricks. However, as they say, one who is a jack-of-all-trades is a master of none. The assortment of puzzle pieces grows ineffective without proper direction. Keep it simple. Getting involved in an abundance of tasks will leave part of your game vulnerable and give you troubles along the way.
Next up – Trades K to R.
** Disclaimer: No careers were meant to be offended in this piece. It is all in good fun. **