Workforce by day, fantasy sports by night. What if that threshold was crossed and both worlds became one? In the newest Trade Fever entry, when fantasy meets reality, we can see that every member of this community serves their purpose.

Where will you and follow GMs fit in?

Architect – The visionary, the man with the plan. Before the inaugural draft even starts, this poolie has a clear-cut blueprint laid out. There is no fooling this guy, especially with his “my way or the highway” attitude. Unfortunately, this results in minimal trade discussions, but hang in there! That foundation is sure to crack sooner or later.

Butcher – Unlike architects, butchers can be seen slicing and dicing their teams. Just when you think they have grown on a player or prospect, heck maybe even the team’s franchise player, butchers find a way to send them packing. No ties to any of their players. Emotionless and ruthless. Makes for an ideal trading partner!

Chef – A little bit of this, a dash of that, and voila! The chef loves to experiment with complimentary food groups - bringing you a full course meal week after week. This one is always striving to cook up that perfect rotisserie recipe.  Interested to see what’s on the menu? Visit Metaldude’s Diner!

Door-to-Door Salesman – These persistent poolies constantly knock at your door with new proposals. Slam the door in their face and they will make sure to be back again and again and again. Some are persuasive and others are down right aggressive. Leave for a day and your mailbox will be full of nonsense. Best way to rid of them? Counter with ridiculous offers – they will eventually get the point!

Economist – Looking to save every penny, and for good reason! These guys are on top of every dollar spent in their salary cap leagues, making them very picky traders. These money-crunching, bang-for-buck managers are often successful in achieving their goals. They rarely make hasty decisions and only strike when the return fits the bill.

Fisherman – The one with the extravagant story about their biggest catch. Yet, when a bet is thrown on the table, the room goes silent and the truth finally comes out. Questionable drafting and poor maintenance caps off the final chapter for this dime-a-dozen poolie’s fairytale ending.

Gambler – The GM who isn’t afraid to go all in. Strives to complete blockbusters and lacks patience. You can tell they are itching to press that big ol’ green “GO” button. Probably figures that this year is the best shot at collecting 200 dollars winning a title. Come season’s end, will they so graciously be dining with the riches or be seen taking early golfing lessons?

Historian – The historian may have won a championship or two back in the day. However, they have long since tasted sweet sweet victory.  Unfortunately, this sad soul is stuck in the past – constantly bringing up old facts as if they were yesterday. Well bucko, times have changed and so has the game. Do something about it or get left to rust!

Investigator – The sneaky GMs who search every nook and cranny of the rule book looking for missing pieces.  If there are any loopholes in the system, these poolies will surely exploit them. Digging deeper, often enough they’ll get away with their questionable “cards” due to having no precedent set. Best to keep your eyes open, and leave nothing behind.


Jack-of-all-trades – From joker to jewel thief, this poolie of many faces has a full toolbox of tricks. However, as they say, one who is a jack-of-all-trades is a master of none. The assortment of puzzle pieces grows ineffective without proper direction.  Keep it simple. Getting involved in an abundance of tasks will leave part of your game vulnerable and give you troubles along the way.

Next up  – Trades K to R.

** Disclaimer: No careers were meant to be offended in this piece. It is all in good fun. **

Comments (6)

Subscribe to this comment's feed

GMGates said:

	... classic David, I'll have to keep that one in mind! haha. As always, thanks P7! And economist is a well calculated class to be in, haha.
	report abuse vote down vote up

January 23, 2012
Votes: +0

Pengwin7 said:

	love it Ha, LOL... this was great... very entertaining - and perfect. I've seen this for fantasy football, but this one was even better! Of this group - I definitely fit in the "economist"!
	report abuse vote down vote up

January 23, 2012
Votes: +0

David Fuentes said:

	gms U forgot one person. The dobber - the daily dobber and goaliepost reader who shops at the butcher, cooks fish, studies history, who is to frugal to gamble. He wins championships. Lol
	report abuse vote down vote up

January 22, 2012 | url
Votes: +1

GMGates said:

... Nice addition with Chameleon! For the popular letters, there was tons of possibilities. I couldn't pass up linking to that old piece with Metaldude - that was a fun article. Cooking and Rotissorie just seemed to match. As the three part series wraps up, you'll see that there may be much more fits. Still have some goofy ones too. After the last edition gets published, I'll be asking readers to participte in a little collaboration. Stay tuned! BTW Jim, Butcher + DtD Salesman is a fun combo. Keeps things "fresh"! haha. In one of my dynasty leagues, we drafted three years ago as well and I only have two remaining original players - Burrows and Brunette (hometown guy). But now I have a team that I am happy with, just going to hurt $$$ wise in the offseason!

report abuse vote down vote up

January 22, 2012
Votes: +0

Austin said:

... You forgot one! The Chameleon. Able to adapt to his surroundings and unique challenges of the pool and blends in with his/her fellow managers but can strike at any time. That is definitely me. Of the ones on here so far I fit a few of them.. The architect: In a salary cap pay league I had a vision and I am following. I started through with a middle of the road, just finishing out of the playoffs team and I have turned it into a lock to get the number one pick but with a crop of prospects that include Eberle, Kuznetsov, Hodgson, Tatar, Huberdeau among others. Butcher: I can be a bit of a butcher in that league and the only core players I have left from that league are P. Kane and Nash and I am listening to offers for them too. I make lots of good offers but I am not a door to door guy. I am able to get things done... Leading my league in trades 12 to 8. Gambler: I have made three huuge trades so far in that league so I guess I am sort of that guy, Investigator: In my dynasty league I found a few loopholes... There was no rule on drafting guys who weren't already drafted in the NHL so I got the top two prospects in last years draft... 2 years ago! I also traded for draft picks when there wasn't a rule against it but noone had thought of it... I had to give back those two guys but I still have a dominant team.

report abuse vote down vote up

January 22, 2012
Votes: +0

notoriousjim said:

	... i am a big time butcher and door to door salesman. I am in a dynasty that drafted 3 years ago with 24 roster spots, i only one 4 of them, and one i got back in a deal after trading him almost 2 years ago. I constantly have trade offers out there, and if i find a deal that makes me better at all i jump on it.
	report abuse vote down vote up

January 22, 2012
Votes: +0